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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27639137">What I Never Got To Say</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampireRose/pseuds/VampireRose'>VampireRose</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supernatural</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Destiel - Freeform, Fix-It, Gay, M/M, Season 15 Episode 20, Season/Series 15, Series</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 05:28:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>983</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27639137</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampireRose/pseuds/VampireRose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This will become a series of Fix-Its for Episode 20 because that ending was trash!</p><p>Dean's heaven consists of only three things, really. Sam, Baby, and-</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Castiel/Dean Winchester</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>68</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What I Never Got To Say</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Dean parked on the bridge just as the song faded out. Closing the door after getting out of his car, his Baby, a smile grew on his face. It was peaceful here, a peace he’d never known. He could finally relax. There were no more monsters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Except his own. As he leaned against the bridge, he let that smile die. Cas. God, Cas. He’d not let himself think about the angel, not even when Sam brought him up. How could he? There was just so much… He knew he was awful with emotions- didn’t someone once call him emotionally constipated? Even if they hadn’t, it fit. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sighed softly. Bobby had said Cas had helped Jack fix things but… There was no way. Cas was in the Empty, right? Sleeping his eternal sleep? That sounded, not to make a pun, but it sounded heavenly. Except… Jack had to have been able to pull him out. Chuck yanked Lucifer out, fat lot of good that did him. Both of them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before he could put much thought into it. He became aware of a presence behind him. That smile returned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Heya, Sammy,” He murmured, turning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dean,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The brothers stood there, staring at each other until Dean pulled his younger brother into a hug. He had no clue how long he’d lived, he looked exactly the same. Time, after all, didn’t work the same in Heaven.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They pulled apart, grinning at each other. Sam looked out on the bridge, grinning at the bubbling creek. Dean wasn’t sure if it really counted as a creek. Sure, it was shallow, but it was wide.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Footsteps creaked on a side of the bridge. Dean hadn’t even registered them at first, but as they grew closer, he grew aware of them. Sam was the first to turn his head and when he did, he froze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dean,” He breathed. Dean frowned and looked up then stopped, his heart doing a similar motion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was the- </span>
  <em>
    <span>his</span>
  </em>
  <span> angel, dressed exactly how he’d last seen him. Suit and tie and that trenchcoat. He looked younger, similar to how he’d been when they met. His hair was messy and wild again, not as smoothed down and neat as it had become. It was darker, too. Dean hadn’t realized how much Castiel’s vessel had aged in the years.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>God. He’d known him for eleven years. Eleven years and it had taken him until he said it outright to realize- Holy shit, he was oblivious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cas,” Dean’s voice was choked as he stumbled away from the side of the bridge. He felt cold and warm at the same time. His heart didn’t know whether to freeze or race. His face didn’t know whether to drain or flush. It was an uncomfortable mix and his angel standing there, hands in his pockets, casual as could be, didn’t help. “Oh, God, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Cas</span>
  </em>
  <span>,”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean staggered to the angel and pulled him into a tight hug, shaking and clinging to him as though he would disappear should he let go. Who knew, maybe he would.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cas, I am- I’m so sorry,” Dean’s voice was choking up, about to break as he held his friend- no, more than that. Sparks zinged through him as he felt the hug being reciprocated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, Dean,” That deep, gravelly voice, the one he’d subconsciously began to refer to as </span>
  <em>
    <span>home</span>
  </em>
  <span> rumbled in his ear and he almost sobbed. He never thought he’d hear it again and oh- </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No, it’s not,” Dean pulled away, sliding his hands to hold Castiel’s wrists. “I never got to say anything after you- after you-”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“After he what?” Sam asked. Dean had almost forgotten he was there. “What happened?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Neither answered him. Looking into Cas’ deep blue eyes, Dean saw emotion there, emotion he was unused to, that he’d only seen plastered on the angel’s face a few times. It was nearly impossible not to be able to read everything he was feeling, for once, and Dean relished in it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was overjoyed, of course, at seeing the brothers again. Sorrowful, likely because this meant he was dead, and- Was that fear?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dean felt his heart sink. He </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> afraid. Of course he would be. He’d never said anything the whole time Cas had been making his final speech. He’d stood there like a statue- emotionally constipated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Cas, I-” Dean trailed off again, unsure of how to say it. It had been so easy to tell Sam he loved him, but he was dying, he was in </span>
  <em>
    <span>pain</span>
  </em>
  <span>. But now he wasn’t. He was thinking clearly, why was this so hard?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay, Dean,” Cas murmured again. His face was falling and he was pulling away, no longer meeting Dean’s gaze. “It’s okay. I- I understand.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What-” Oh </span>
  <em>
    <span>hell </span>
  </em>
  <span>no. Dean, rashly as ever, let his emotions- those very ones he’d kept suppressed all these years- control him and in one motion, he’d taken Cas by the shoulders, holding him still. The angel looked like he wanted to pull away, he looked </span>
  <em>
    <span>scared</span>
  </em>
  <span>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked like he wanted to get away before he got hurt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Without waiting any longer, because he couldn’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>stand</span>
  </em>
  <span> to anymore, Dean leaned down, nudged Cas’ face to meet his, and finally, </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span> kissed him the way he should have so many years ago. Hearing Sam’s gasp behind him, Dean didn’t care as he wrapped his arms around his angel, pulling him closer as he reciprocated the motion, deepening the kiss. It was so full of emotion, so many things that had never been said, that Dean felt empty when they finally separated for air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That tell what you need?” Dean whispered, grinning. Cas let out a breathy laugh.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Dammit, Dean, yes,” Cas kissed Dean again, but neither could hold it due to smiling so hard. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, hey, Cas,” Dean murmured as he pulled the angel into another bone-crushing hug.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“I love you too.”</span>
  </em>
</p>
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